"Madame Prime Minister, are there one or two events which stand out in your mind in terms of importance for triggering the world's rapid decline?" queried Moira Davidson, chief foreign affairs correspondent for The Australian Journal.
"The two initial events were China's anti-satellite weapons launched into space and Britain's acceptance of sharia as equal to established law," replied British Prime Minister Persnickety Naiflass. "However, I would have to add America's demonic infatuation with unfettered capitalism and rabid woke politics." "The transition between American presidents was well-planned, at least by China," began Naiflass. "The outgoing president, Cheshire Cat, was severely hampered by dementia, with a good example being his incompetent decision regarding the pullout of US troops from Afghanistan. Cat's vice president, Venal Trollop, who got her political start by sleeping with the much older mayor of San Francisco, ran for office as president in his place and won. After the election, she met with the Chinese who told her what she wanted to hear, that they would renegotiate all trade arrangements and cease their aggression in the South China Sea. The way she greeted the press after her China trip reminded me of those historic photos of Neville Chamberlain waving a piece of paper above his head and declaring that he had guaranteed peace in our time." "China mentioned that it would test anti-satellite weapons at that meeting, right?" interrupted Davidson. "Yes, and it held a press conference days later explaining that it had learned from its previous tests. Every country which had satellites in space loudly complained, because China had already destroyed a satellite in space, creating an enormous cloud of debris. China announced that it would destroy two spent boosters in low earth orbit, so the debris would soon exit orbit and burn up upon reentry," answered Naiflass "But, Madame Prime Minister, China had another agenda entirely," interjected Alice Munro, chief foreign correspondent for Canadian Affairs Daily. "Indeed. The test was scheduled for inauguration day, timed to occur at the time of the handover of power," continued Naiflass. "The boosters were actually reverse-stealth ones from what I heard," added Munro. "I heard that from the Americans, but that conclusion was based on some assumptions. We did not appreciate that China had launched extra boosters ahead of time. I mean, the Five-Eyes countries knew about all China's launches, but we did not understand the payloads. The missiles were actually three stage models, with the third stages being specially designed to create as many secondary particles as possible, similar to the vests of suicide bombers. The outsides of the third stages were built to fool ground radar into thinking they were actually lower than they were," explained Naiflass. "Do you know any specifics of their exteriors?" asked Davidson. "No, I really don't. We argued over whether they had extra surfaces to passively reflect as much radar as possible or they were actively doing so with amplifiers. NORAD knew something was amiss because the radar data just did not make sense -- they sometimes appeared to be rather enormous -- but it did not sound an alarm," replied Naiflass. "China's two launches on inauguration day did not target the boosters at all, correct?" asked Munro. "They targeted the two US spy satellites watching China and North Korea. The boosters already in orbit then exploded, filling certain orbits with thousands of baseball-sized pieces of metal. It wasn't until days later, after careful analysis of the data and the loss of communication with the satellites, that we realized that the orbits which held the remaining spy satellites were filled with junk, shredding all of them in time," answered Naiflass. "The boosters were cleverly designed, with sub-units that shifted to slightly different orbits before exploding." "The Chinese government apologized in the faux sincere manner we have seen many times, saying that they were sorry for the damage," continued Naiflass. "Entire classes of satellites were eliminated from what I heard. Would you agree with that?" queried Davidson. "I would. Debris headed directly for the International Space Station, which just happened to be in the final minutes of the docking of a regular resupply mission via an autonomous spacecraft. The missile ripped all of the ISS modules apart, with the remnants then spinning wildly in space, not to mention that all of the astronauts were killed. We saw a cascade of collisions, first one satellite, then a spent booster, then another satellite, and so on -- the scientific term for this is Kessler Syndrome -- with the ISS and Envisat, the largest civilian Earth observation satellite ever launched into space, being the largest contributors of debris after the Chinese boosters. The owners of active satellites quickly used all of their available maneuvering fuel in an unsuccessful attempt to avoid the orbital mayhem. Within two weeks, the commonly used orbits looked like the aftermath of one of those American demolition derby races. Iridium and other communications satellites, along with the James Webb space telescope and the KH-12s, are now shiny space junk. It is almost impossible to put a satellite into a useful orbit now. Don't forget that all manned spacecraft have used low Earth orbits, except for the moon-bound Apollo ones. It will take decades of expensive cleanup to make space safe again," replied Naiflass. "We had become very dependent on satellites. Satellite phones stopped working, so people out of sight of cellular towers are now incommunicado. GPS satellites traveled in medium Earth orbits, so they were safe for a time -- the farther out a satellite is, the more empty space there is in the orbit -- but now most of them have since been trashed so most GPS devices no longer function. The US military is severely hampered by this, as every single vehicle, aircraft, ship, and soldier was dependent upon receiving accurate GPS data. The Russians were not very happy about their version of GPS, GLONASS, being shredded," continued Naiflass. "The geostationary weather satellites still function because their orbits were too high for the space junk, but polar orbiting weather satellites were quickly trashed, with the latter being much more useful because of their proximity to Earth. America was not much affected by this, given their GOES satellites, but their DMSP satellites were destroyed, causing some problems for their military. The Russians have their Elektro-L, the Japanese have their MTSAT, the Indians have their INSAT, and we here in Europe have Meteosat, but some parts of the world have old-fashioned weather -- unpredictable, as it used to be before satellites," added Naiflass. "We lost the operational control of all drones, Predator, Reaper, Sentinel, Global Hawk, and the new ones which were just coming online after being developed in Nevada, because they depended upon GPS. The Americans had become comfortable in their arrangement of stationing pilots there, but that required satellite links. We really don't know what Islamists are doing in many countries now," continued Naiflass. "And, to be honest, I was amazed at the reaction of the US government and US corporations. Instead of treating China's behavior as an act of war, which it clearly was, the libertarian jackals earning billions of dollars via trade with China, for example, Walmart, Amazon, Home Depot, and Dell, burned up the telephone lines to their bought-and-paid-for politicians and demanded that we not interrupt the gravy train," finished Naiflass. "Trollop only whimpered a response to the American people. And her transgender Defense Secretary, appointed soon after the event, was only interested in having her photo taken in locations where no one had ever been photographed wearing a dress, for example, in the commander's position in a tank, in a fighter jet, and in the captain's chair of an aircraft carrier." "In your opinion, did China truly understand what it was doing with the orbital destruction?" queried Munro. "I have no definitive answer. They wanted to show the world, albeit in a passive-aggressive manner, that China was the leader in the field. They wanted to eliminate the US advantage in spy satellites. But I think they did not understand until later that their junk will remain in orbit for many generations to come unless actively removed by some type of hoovering spacecraft," answered Naiflass. "But then the curtain rose on the second act of the West's tragedy," suggested Davidson. "Nicely put," commended Naiflass. "Yes, the hostility between China and Japan finally reached its crest over the Diaoyu / Senkaku islands, depending upon which country's language one wishes to use. Both countries had been engaged in a low-grade war over those and other islands for a good number of years. Many ships had collided in games of chicken and intimidation, with a few sinking, but the damage was always so minimal that all sailors were able to escape with their lives. Then China upped the ante with its second aircraft carrier, the Shuangdao, which was sent to the islands to guard the landing force which China planned to use to occupy the islands. Japan had warned China that landings would not be tolerated. Japan pulled the trigger with multiple torpedoes launched toward the carrier. The carrier sank quickly with the loss of around 3000 sailors." "My colleagues in China at that time told us that the average Chinese person went ballistic over the sinking and demanded that the government retaliate in a big way," added Davidson. "Interesting choice of words -- ballistic -- given what happened later. China began implementing a cyber-attack using the code from Stuxnet and Flame, but took it one step farther. As you might remember, those cyber-attacks against Iran were specifically targeted against its nuclear centrifuges. Yes, there was a handful of other computers which were hit, but for the most part it was only centrifuges which were affected. This time, China was targeting everything and anything Japanese: nuclear power generating plants, dams and their associated hydroelectric generation facilities, factories of all sorts, banks, military command and control, government institutions, you name it, they targeted it. To paraphrase the former leader of Pakistan, China was going to cyber-bomb Japan back into the stone age," continued Naiflass. "Australians were glued to their televisions, PC monitors, and smartphones as we watched this disaster porn. We were more interested than most countries because fallout from a local nuclear war, if it came to that, might cause the movie On The Beach to come true," added Davidson. "Here in Britain we started called it the phony Asian war in comparison to the lack of hostilities between Nazi Germany and Britain shortly after the invasion of Poland. We were as surprised as anyone when China finally unleashed its revenge. They had emailed untold numbers of emails containing malware to specifically targeted individuals, employing a technique known as spear phishing, with these emails appearing to do nothing for a few months, so Japanese anti-virus protection did not sound the alarm. Chinese crackers had placed malware on web sites Japanese targets were known to frequent, in the maneuver known as a watering hole attack. And the few spies China had in Japan were able to insert USB flash drives containing malware directly into PCs controlling infrastructure in a manner reminiscent of the Stuxnet attacks," continued Naiflass. "All of a sudden, every Japanese power plant suffered severe problems. In some cases, the workers were able to shut the reactor down without any release of radiation. But in about half the Japanese reactors -- and keep in mind that Japan obtained between one-fourth and one-third of its electricity from nuclear reactors before the war -- there was some kind of meltdown and/or vessel breach. In more than a few, the highly ironic China Syndrome occurred, with the core melting through the reactor floor. There were many, many Fukushima-style disasters happening at once. Millions of Japanese were forced to move to other parts of the islands. Millions lost their jobs and homes," added Naiflass. "Why didn't the US retaliate as its defense treaty with Japan obligated it to do?" asked Munro. "Japan was not exactly blameless, as it had killed thousands of Chinese sailors, not to mention that it is difficult to conclusively prove who the perpetrator was. Also, I learned through the back channels that China warned the US that it would consider any attack on the behalf of Japan as a clear declaration of total war. Trollop was frozen with indecision, panic-stricken she would go down in history as the one responsible for initiating a nuclear exchange. And, of course, China was America's banker and supplier of the vast majority of its goods, as the US had long ago outsourced most of its manufacturing base to China, India, Vietnam, and other countries," answered Naiflass. "It's problematic waging war against your largest industrial supplier," added Naiflass. "Given Japan's response to the cyber-attack, don't you think her non-response was the correct move?" countered Munro. "Japan's response was downright shocking, considering that it had been devastated by two atomic bombs at the end of WWII and tried to rub the nose of the US in it at every opportunity. It launched two weapons many of us would never have guessed it had, hydrogen bombs specifically designed for minimum fallout and maximum EMP. We were ignorant of these weapons partially because of China's indirect destruction of all spy satellites," replied Naiflass. "Did Japan minimize the fallout because of the possibility of the cloud traveling to Japan?" asked Davidson. "And when you refer to EMP, you mean electromagnetic pulse, right?" "Yes and yes. Japan did not care if fallout rained down on China, but Japan's islands are in the path of normal winds blowing from China. And EMP is a burst of electromagnetic radiation resulting from a nuclear blast which usually destroys electronic and electrical equipment," answered Naiflass. "The first device was exploded between Beijing and Qingdao in Shandong Province, the home of its North Sea Fleet headquarters, as an air burst. The intent of it was to fry just about every electronic device within sight and I mean that literally. If someone could see the explosion, any device in the area was pretty much guaranteed to be converted to so much junk. Nuclear physics is not my strong suit so I cannot tell you the altitude of the blast, but I would think it was somewhere between 50 and 100 km. If it had been much higher, the radiation could have destroyed many satellites in low Earth orbit similar to how the US destroyed satellites in July 1962 with its Starfish Prime nuclear blast at 400 km above the Johnston Atoll -- if the Chinese had not already destroyed them, of course. Many cities were affected. Factories immediately stopped operations. Hydroelectric plants ceased to function. Warehouses full of electronic products destined for the West were now full of products only useful for recycling. China lost billions of dollars in a flash," continued Naiflass. "And all of a sudden, Germany is back to being the world's largest exporter," mused Naiflass. "But the second device failed to explode properly. It was intended to explode halfway between Ningbo in Zhejiang Province, the home of China's East Sea Fleet, and Zhanjiang in Guangdong Province, the home of China's South Sea Fleet, but something went wrong. The conventional explosive did indeed go off, but for some reason it did not trigger the next, nuclear, stage. Instead of a nuclear explosion intended to fry the electronics in the remaining two ports, it resulted in a highly lethal dirty bomb which rained down over hundreds of square kilometers. Millions of Chinese people were forced to evacuate, and needless to say, the government had no plans for that. Many people were killed in the stampede to escape the kill zone," explained Naiflass. "Japan failed in its main objectives. It neutralized many smaller ships of the North Sea Fleet, but all nuclear and diesel submarines were away and therefore saved, reminding me of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor when the American carriers were at sea. The vast cave-like base on Hainan Island, which was built to house submarines and carriers, was unaffected," continued Naiflass. "The world held its breath for a few days, hoping that another nuclear shoe would not drop. Luckily, that was the end of the atomic portion of the war, but China had one more card up its sleeve. Japanese Prime Minister Yasukuni Kishi had rearmed Japan with lots of expensive new ships and aircraft, but as I mentioned, all Chinese submarines and many other ships were ready for battle. All of these ships fired a massive salvo at every ship, airfield, and command and control center Japan had, as well as every dam and electrical generation plant. Thousands of missiles and torpedos were launched and they all struck home because Japan's defensive machinery was still out-of-order due to the cyber-attack. Japan lost many lives in the floods following the burst dams. Not to mention the water which could no longer be used for drinking, farming, or any other purpose. Kishi now ruled over a nation with little remaining electrical generation capability, tens of millions of refugees, a severe water shortage, virtually no military capability, and a host of other problems. He was strung up and sliced to bits with samurai swords by angry Japanese, comparable to what Japanese soldiers did to many Chinese, Korean, Filipino, and other civilians and POWs during the second world war," added Naiflass. "All things considered, Japan had been very lucky. Many people in the Chinese government wanted to level Japan using nuclear weapons. They considered this payback for the way Japan treated China during the second world war," continued Naiflass. "On the subject of Australia's reaction to Japan's use of a nuclear weapon, you probably heard that the Australian navy is preventing any Japanese whaling ships from hunting for whales," offered Davidson. "Yes, I was told by the prime minister that Australian navy ships give whalers a choice: turn around and head back to port or prepare to be fired upon. From what I understand, the first few ships needed a few blasts from a .50 caliber machine gun before taking the threat seriously, but now whalers have essentially given up," continued Naiflass. "Many Australians are ecstatic over this, especially given that some of the nuclear fallout rained over Australia. Perhaps you do not know what happened near Taijii in the cove Japan has been using to kill 20,000 dolphins each year. Someone, almost certainly an Australian, determined the audible frequency most hated by dolphins and created a waterproof transmitter device to radiate that frequency. This device was placed in the very end of the cove. Dolphins rapidly moved away from the end of the cove. This person then threw in another one further down the cove, doing this until there were no more dolphins at all in the cove. Now we have learned that this same person makes sure that the devices are always transmitting. The slaughter is finally concluded," finished Davidson. A blood-curdling scream was heard coming from the salon next door. Davidson and Munro's eyes went wide, but Naiflass hardly reacted at all, as she had heard it before. "Do you think the proponents of Brexit understood the potential fall-out with respect to Islam?" asked Munro. "Some Brexit proponents thought that it would solve our problem with Islamists, when we already had a critical mass of home-grown ones on our island," added Naiflass. "We should have stayed in the EU and fought to change the system from inside. We should have simply refused to implement Brussels' ridiculous rulings, for example, when they told us we could not deport child molesters, rapists, and murderers because they had a family in the UK. And Brexit did not reduce immigration as much as people thought it would because the majority of our immigration came from outside the EU, especially from Pakistan and other Islamic countries." "Not to mention Scotland voting for independence shortly after the Brexit fallout," concluded Naiflass. "And then mandating that children as young as four could choose their sex and undergo sex change surgeries." "Do you think the events of the past decade constitute a third world war or are they different than that?" queried Davidson. "The two world wars were essentially wars between two sides, albeit with many players around the world. Most people believed that a third one, if it ever came to that, would be largely the same. No, the past years resembled a bar fight. World leaders often did not know which side to choose. I am embarrassed to say that Britain and America chose rather badly," continued Naiflass. "But in our defense, things were so different than the world to which we had grown accustomed. The US had been the leader of the free world since 1945. When it stopped playing that role, some of us naively hoped that China would assume that mantle. But no, China only pursued its own selfish interests, with many countries being cut adrift," opined Naiflass. "North America used to be the industrial and economic powerhouse of the world. Now, only my country remains as a serious contender in North America. In your view, what were the causes for the downfall of the US?" asked Munro. "Churchill wrote a series of books on the second world war. If I had time left, I would devote an entire volume to the demise of the US," announced Naiflass. "The States have had an unbroken string of mediocre-at-best presidents. Oral Hardcraft could barely keep his pants on and was better suited to being president of Italy. He brought in a gang of Wall Street swindlers to man the Treasury Department, a legacy which haunts us even today. Smirk Urushiol and Haughty Bungler might as well have been twin reincarnations of Warren Harding, creating a landslide of corruption which buried the country, giving trillions to their friends in corporations and banks, with Bungler using many of Hardcraft's Wall Street swindlers in his Cabinet. Urushiol and Bungler combined to turn the Middle East into one of Dante's circles of Hell, with the former eliminating a dictator who held Iraq together, albeit brutally, and the latter bizarrely declaring that Islamic State was a junior varsity terrorist squad -- while he stood by and did nothing while Islamic State annihilated the Yazidis. Blabber McDeal made a tragic deal with the Taliban that assumed that they were honorable people, when they aren't much different than Islamic State or al-Qaeda. Cheshire Cat did nothing but blame McDeal for the Taliban's predictable reconquest of Afghanistan," continued Naiflass. "As a side-note, Bungler's presidential library is the first to feature a fully-functional basketball court." "Do you think things would have been better if Blabber McDeal had been reelected?" queried Davidson. "That's one of those 'how many angels can dance on the head of a pin' questions," started Naiflass. "Trollop is one of the most corrupt persons to have run for president and given the sordid history of the States, that's saying something. I expected her to sell the Lincoln Bedroom furniture on eBay. But McDeal never gave specifics on any policy. He said he would renegotiate all arrangements, forgetting that Congress approves treaties. He acted as if the race for the presidency was just another reality TV show where outrageous comments are all one needs. And the protests against him, which often proved violent, especially at the end, were manned by reconquistas, latter-day Black Panthers, anarchists, communists, and e-children." "That said, his critics were wrong regarding his pledge to stop immigration by Muslims. The pundits and other useless people stated that it would be impossible to do so, but it would have been relatively easy. He could have declared that immigration by Muslims must cease until someone devises a method of distinguishing between Islamists and Muslims who don't dream of killing infidels. Since that's impossible, he would have been able to order the State Department to place a freeze on all Muslims," added Naiflass. "And I categorically disagreed with his policy of abandoning countries at risk, for example, the Baltic States, who are seriously worried about Russian interference, if not outright invasion. Sure, those countries don't really contribute much to NATO's overall defense, but we let down Poland which was invaded first by the Nazis and eleven days later by the Soviets in September 1939. We cannot allow that to happen again," finished Naiflass. "The US essentially became a third-world country," interjected Munro. "What part did the drought in the American West and Midwest play in all that?" "A fairly major one, I'd say. I'd never admit it to my liberal colleagues, but I never could decide whether climate change was real or not. Remember that the reason Illinois and Iowa have such magnificent soil is that those states were covered by the remnants of the glaciers, or to be facetious, ground-up Canada. This happened to Europe as well. Mankind had nothing to do with the glaciers coming or going. Most people do not understand that the reason we have found so few Neanderthal and Denisovan remains is that the glaciers ground them up. Every time we find more remains we further boost the case that they were actually our smartest ancestors -- the stone structures in the cave in Bruniquel, France, convincingly demonstrate that they were as intelligent as we are -- but they weren't brutish enough to best the substantially more violent Africans who came north and stole Neanderthal women," explained Naiflass. "Rather like the girls who date violent losers to spite their parents." "John Wesley Powell's Report on the Lands of the Arid Region of the United States stated quite clearly that the West was water-poor and therefore water should be the prime factor in where cities should be situated. Of course, his advice was ignored, with many honestly believing that water followed the plow. The extremely low levels of water in both Lake Mead and Lake Powell rather dramatically prove his point," added Naiflass. "It's astounding that semiconductor manufacturing plants were built in Arizona, given that they require large quantities of water, between two and four million gallons of water a day," noted Naiflass. "They're not running now." "Western Nebraska, the Oklahoma Panhandle, northern Texas, the western Kansas, eastern Colorado, eastern New Mexico, southeastern Wyoming, and southern South Dakota have largely been abandoned. Millions of people were forced to move away from their farms and homes because water is a scarce commodity in the region. Only cities lying on rivers, for example, Omaha and Kansas City on the Missouri River, remain, because they can take their water directly from the river. Given that the area held much of America's wheat crop, as well as other crops that depended upon the Ogallala Aquifer, Americans are now having severe food shortages, something which was unthinkable just a few years ago," continued Naiflass. "The States are in uncharted territory. Scientists can only guess when the Ogallala Aquifer will be usable again. Remember that it was originally filled mainly by melting glaciers thousands of years ago at the end of the last ice age. Some of the Midwestern states devised a brilliant plan, all things considered. They brought in buffalo, antelope and other native animals to repopulate the region. It will take decades to bring back the herds North America had before Buffalo Bill -- who got his name by shooting buffalo while sitting comfortably on a train car -- and others eliminated them. Too bad rhinos and elephants couldn't be brought in to live free from poachers, as they are just a blink of an eye away from being extinct due to Chinese, Vietnamese, and other Asian men killing them for their horns, but they would never survive the winters," added Naiflass. "Speaking of food shortages, you know that Europe banned neonicotinoid pesticides because it was finally understood that the collapse of bee colonies was due to these pesticides damaging the brains of bees, especially queens. Slowly, Europe's fruit and vegetable output rose, so it was reasonable to assume that the pesticides were indeed the problem. But American politicians were having none of that. They reminded me of the people who ignorantly claimed that vaccines caused autism, even though there have been many, many studies that disproved the original one created by that charlatan, who, I'm sorry to admit, was British. The bee population collapsed in the States and millions of people discovered the hard way the reality of how fruits and vegetables are pollinated," continued Naiflass. "Surely the job losses in the US contributed to its problems," asked Davidson. "Yes, the so-called gang-of-eight Senators ripped the heart out of the American technical worker with its opening of the immigration floodgates via increased numbers of H-1B visa holders. H-1B visas were originally intended to allow companies to import seriously talented individuals, but Silicon Valley companies quickly realized that they could use them for run-of-the-mill jobs to improve their corporate bottom line and obscenely increase CEO compensation. These men said with a straight face that allowing hundreds of thousands more foreign workers would somehow improve the unemployment situation. And, Bob's your uncle, it put hundreds of thousands more Americans out of work. And those foreign workers, mainly from India, then made matters worse by hiring only their friends and relatives for new positions. They took further advantage of the situation by using B-1 visas, which are supposed to be used only for someone visiting the States for a meeting or conference, to bring in permanent workers," replied Naiflass. "Hardcraft, Urushiol, Bungler, Cat, and Trollop all pushed for no limits on H-1B visas, proving that persecuting the American worker is one of the only partisan activities in Washington." "McDeal was spot-on regarding the abuse of H-1B visas, but it really was only the tip of the iceberg," continued Naiflass. "My favorite example as to why the States were in a race to the bottom concerned non-compete clauses in contracts. A fast-food supplier named Billy Bob's Fixins was a pioneer in this respect, requiring its employees, who were largely part-time employees, to sign highly restrictive agreements that prevented them from working for any other food supplier for a period of two years after their time with Billy Bob's. I mean, fast-food does not involve trade secrets that need to be protected. The owner simply wanted to be able to control his employees, keep their wages artificially low, and prevent them from taking a job at another supplier, thereby maximizing his personal income." "It's been decades since large numbers of good jobs were created in the US -- most jobs are low-paid with no benefits that a well-trained goat could do -- at least since Bungler's terms in office. I never understood why the Yanks did not mimic the German system of separating high school students into college-bound and blue collar, as Germany, which is smaller than Montana, remains the world leader in industrial machinery. The US used to be an industrial powerhouse, but Ayn Rand groupies successfully lobbied the government to outsource every possible job, claiming that manufacturing jobs were no longer necessary. No one ever challenged them over the fact that retail and fast food jobs were the only jobs being created, with even the former disappearing with the rise of Amazon under its libertarian CEO, Lord Baldy," added Naiflass. "And back to Brexit for a minute; proponents argued that the lack of a European Apple, Uber, or Amazon proved that Brussels was holding Europe back, but they completely missed the point. The three reasons Silicon Valley has made such wild profits for their CEOs and shareholders are, 1) they were able to import indentured servants via H-1B visas, replacing American workers with much lower-paid substitutes from India, 2) ignore the laws via Section 230 of the laughably named Communications Decency Act, and 3) move production to China yet bring the completed products back taxed as ones produced by an American company. Actually, it's even worse than that, given that Apple, Amazon, and other firms pay little corporate tax," explained Naiflass. "Uber's entire business model relies on the elimination of employees and introduction of contract workers, returning to Dickensian days." "On America's southern border, Mexico is experiencing a full-blown civil war with the cartels versus the government. I think it would require an invasion by a well-equipped army to quell the many battles, reminiscent of the time the US invaded Mexico just before it joined the Allies in WWI," continued Naiflass. "You recently commented that the decline of the US was inversely proportional to the rise of the social media sector. Would you like to finish that thought?" asked Munro. "Sure," answered Naiflass. "The US first became a major world power with WWII, after which it was pretty much the only industrial country not in ruins. Its growth was phenomenal from WWII to around 1980, when Jelly Bean Phaser introduced oligarchical, trickle-down economics. The gap between the rich and poor started to grow, eventually becoming an abyss. The US outsourced almost all technical hardware overseas, with Silicon Valley companies introducing practically useless social media products -- you may remember that I disdainfully referred to them as 'touchy-feely tripe' -- with a bonus of selling the personal data of all Americans to Russian and Chinese companies, which artfully used it to steal the identities of many Americans." "The straw that broke the camel's back, however, was the breach of Alluvion Airlines," continued Naiflass. "Remember that Alluvion mandated the use of biometric data. After a few years of collecting the data of most Americans and many foreigners, its IT systems were breached by Russian cyber-thieves who absconded with passport data, photos, fingerprints, addresses, birth dates, and other data. It was impossible for most Americans to assert their identity, and, of course, Congress did nothing to alleviate the situation. Alluvion only had to pay for one year's worth of credit monitoring." "And the number of homeless people in the US is astounding. Many people simply cannot function in the social media economy which demands a reality distortion field worthy of Steve Jobs," continued Naiflass. "Deepfakes played a major role, correct?" queried Davidson. "Oh yes, it's pretty much impossible to distinguish between genuine and fake photographs or video. There's no way to give an estimate as to numbers, but it's certain that a large number of people -- all poor and middle class, of course -- have been convicted of crimes they did not commit because jury members, mostly graduates of woke schools, believe what they see," answered Naiflass. "Silicon Valley companies have successfully fought against any restrictions on the use of deepfakes, with most politicians having no clue regarding the dangers. "And the woke factor is significant. Young, technically proficient leftists stalk anyone who disagrees with them. Christians and Jews are hunted relentlessly. If a gay male is attacked, even if he precipitated the event, the other party might as well commit suicide because their life is over," explained Naiflass. "We should have mandated that homosexuals deserve equal, but not special rights." "The left would never mention it, of course, but the phrase 'anti-fascist' was used in the communist world for decades. In June 1934 Stalin used the term 'anti-fascists' via the Communist International to describe the West. And the DDR's Walter Ulbricht used 'anti-fascist' to describe the West immediately after the DDR started building the Berlin Wall in August 1961," continued Naiflass. "The antifa groups around the world would more accurately be described as Bolshevik." "Don't you think smartphones played a major role in the stupification of Western youth?" asked Munro. Naiflass laughed. "Very good point; especially American youths. Smartphones are perfectly suited to displaying 280 character tweets, but not so good at displaying long articles. So users only read short, biased summaries of complex issues, making them think those problems can easily be solved. Worse yet, social media makes it pathetically easy to create a personal echo chamber, where all content originates from those who share your exact point of view." Another blood-curdling scream was heard coming from the salon next door, but this time Davidson and Munro merely looked uncomfortable. "What about Europe? There were no nuclear explosions, but the continent went through radical changes," asked Davidson. "Europe is complicated," started Naiflass. "Portugal, Spain, and Greece became communist. The corruption in Bulgaria and Romania has always boggled the mind, especially the former with its ties to Russia. At least we had the foresight to never allow them to join the Schengen Area. If Romania could only have found a way to eliminate its culture of corruption, it would have become a major player in Europe." "Northern Italy is an eclectic mix of fascism and communism, with the southern half and Sicily being pure mafia. The antics of the on-again, off-again -- this does not only refer to political office, but also to teen-aged girls as young as 13 -- Prime Minister Smegma Phallusconi are almost entertaining," opined Naiflass. "Don't you think the UK should have deported its many Islamic criminals and terrorists?" queried Munro. "Hindsight is always 20-20. Yes, we should have deported the child molesters, rapists, groomers of girls, the violent advocates of sharia, and the others who remained solely because Britain did not have the courage to deport criminals. I dare say Churchill would have found a way to rid our island of vermin like them," answered Naiflass. "I should have sent in the SAS and forcibly deported Islamists to a suitably Islamic country, perhaps Somalia, regardless of what the European Court of Human Rights decreed." "But we found the time to ban that American preacher who burned copies of the Quran and the Dutch politician who wanted to stop immigration of Muslims. They were controversial, to be sure, but they never espoused murder, let alone committed it," opined Naiflass. "It took a while for the news to emerge, but Muslims had been creating harems and bordellos in Oxford, Rochdale, Derby, Telford, and many other cities. It all started with grooming, which was bad enough, but it progressed far beyond that," continued Naiflass. "Because of the backlash against austerity, the Tories were thrown out of office, with Labor coming back under yours truly. I will admit that I did not see the danger in implementing sharia. We had already allowed separate sharia courts, but those only affected Muslims. We changed the law so sharia was on equal footing with the great tradition of English law going back centuries. We allowed ourselves to be shamed into believing that we were Islamophobic," admitted Naiflass. "A country cannot exist under two mutually-contradictory systems of law," declared Naiflass. "Do you think BBC News was a major player in the UK turning into an Islamic country?" asked Davidson. "Yes, that is certainly true," answered Naiflass. "The BBC employed quite a few world-class rapists and child molesters. Given the atmosphere of fear resulting from sexual harassment and bullying by so-called untouchable senior managers and stars, BBC News became a place where the natural horror regarding rape and molestation became desensitized, so when Muslim gangs started grooming girls for sex, BBC neglected to sound the alarm. The culture at BBC News was so tainted that even when someone made a complaint of sexual harassment, and that complaint was upheld, the perpetrator was often promoted shortly thereafter. We never heard of this because all BBC News contracts included a gag order preventing employees from ever discussing the problem in public." "And the typical British disdain for the French was mixed in, too. I remember hearing one of the BBC's so-called talent on the American NPR who haughtily denigrated France's banning of the burka, sneering that burkas are rare in France. This was both true and irrelevant, because France was trying to ban all full-body suits which masked whether the wearer was a man or woman, regardless of what the costume was named," continued Naiflass. "History has proven that France and Belgium were right to ban these outfits." "Why were imams in British mosques allowed to teach a virulent and jihadist form of Islam?" queried Munro. "Over the past few decades, many, many mosques have been built in the UK. Of those mosques, at least 80% were teaching the most radical types of Islam, Wahhabism and Salafism, teaching jihad, Islamic supremacism, and hatred and contempt for Jews and Christians. Often these mosques were not proposed as such, but were disingenuously introduced as a community center, inter-faith center, or another innocuous term. Little by little, Britain was being inundated by dangerous, religious nutters. The stage was being set for the final act," replied Naiflass. "We naively thought that Berserk Chowderhead, the Muslim demagogue, was just blowing smoke when he proclaimed years ago that the Queen would eventually be wearing a headscarf. It's even more amazing given that he was a party animal in his college days, drinking heavily, taking drugs, and fornicating with non-Muslim women. Of course, now he is a self-righteous Muslim dictator. He must have studied the history of Germany leading up to the second world war because he and his followers used Nazi tactics to gain power, strong-arming people to get his way. We saw the use of Islamic stormtroopers standing outside the businesses of people who tried to stand up to the categorization of non-Muslims as inferior to Muslims, holding signs informing potential customers that the business must not be patronized," added Naiflass. "The writing was on the wall, but we were too blind to read it. When Muslims clashed with Jews, many people on the left dismissed it as the usual Zionism. When Muslims clashed with Christians, many people on the left dismissed it as the legacy of the past, for example, the Spanish Inquisition and other Catholic excesses. But when Muslims clashed with pacifist Buddhists, we really should have awoken from our politically-correct slumber. The signs held by Buddhists reading, 'The world is not only for Muslims,' should have been our canary in the coal mine, a clear signal that Muslims were attempting to dominate the entire world, with every other religion being something which needed to be eradicated," continued Naiflass. "Luckily, this was not true in all other European countries. The last straw was the claim by Muslims that any criticism of Muhammad was not acceptable. It does not require a barrister to understand that prohibiting criticism of Muhammad is a slippery slope. Once that law is in effect, Muslims can claim just about anything. Since Muhammad had multiple wives, polygamy must be legalized. Since Muhammad married a girl who was only 6 or 7, that must be made legal. Since he proclaimed that non-Muslim girls and women can be enslaved for sex, that must be legalized. Since Muhammad declared that alcohol is forbidden, shops selling alcohol can be forced to close. Since Muhammad declared that dogs are unclean, dog owners can be forced to avoid areas which Muslims frequent, which eventually will be everywhere. Freedom of speech, religion, and behavior go out the window under sharia," declared Naiflass. "In some European countries, the roundup for Islamic extremists has already begun. Cartoons insulting to Muhammad are published and when the predictable demonstration against them is seen, the demonstrators are corralled and prevented from leaving by heavily armed police. Each member of the crowd is interviewed one by one, with visitors and others lacking permanent status deported within two days. Permanent residents are fingerprinted, photographed, and warned that they are now in the database," continued Naiflass. "Why wasn't the Defence of Britain Party more of a factor in preventing the UK from turning Islamic?" queried Davidson. "Unfortunately, we in the government largely prevented that," admitted Naiflass. "As with liberals in the States, we foolishly trumpeted Islamophobia as the greater threat. We arrested many of the leaders of the DBP, harassing them and preventing them from contributing to the discussion as to whether Islam was compatible with traditional British values. Using state-sponsored honeytraps, spies, and entrapment, often with the assistance of MI5 and the Guardian, we damaged the reputation of the DBP beyond repair. That said, the DBP added to its own downfall by demanding that Britain isolate itself from the Continent. France and Belgium, and later Austria, Switzerland, Germany, Finland, and other countries, banned the face veil, that blatant symbol of Islamic oppression of women, while Britain never did. We could have learned something from them." "We never appreciated that Islamists were similar to Bolsheviks in terms of fanaticism. They would stop at nothing and were willing to kill large numbers of people to achieve their goal of worldwide Islam. And in a manner reminiscent of how Stalin eliminated the Trotskyites and other opposition groups, the two main Islamic sects, Sunni and Shia, fought a never-ending civil war over whose version of Islam would triumph," opined Naiflass. "It was truly tragic that the West never rescued the thousands of Yazidi girls and women sexually enslaved by Islamic State with the active assistance of local Sunni Muslims who wanted to share in the human booty. We could have mounted raids to do so, killing large numbers of Islamists as a bonus. Fools like the NSA spy currently living in Russia bleeted that drone strikes against Daesh often resulted in civilian casualties, but those civilians were hardly innocent, as they were the wives and supporters of Daesh thugs," continued Naiflass. "And the horror just goes on and on. The al-Hol refugee camp, which houses well over 60,000 former Daesh families, also contains an unknown number of Yazidi females who are probably not even aware that they are not related to the monsters who murdered their families. We could easily have sent in troops to secure the camp, temporarily separate all children from their alleged mothers, run DNA tests on all of them, and return Yazidis back to their people," added Naiflass. "But we continue to allow Daesh thugs to run the camps." "Some Yazidi females were spirited away to far-off Islamic lands. There were ads in Turkish newspapers offering children for sale. Nothing was ever done about it," opined Naiflass. "Really sad." "A good number of Daesh thugs were allowed into Germany. Some former Yazidi sex slaves actually ran into their former masters there. Germany did nothing about it, didn't deport them or prosecute them," reflected Naiflass. The only good news in the world is that Russia, Poland, Hungary, and Israel declined to convert their countries into Islamic republics, with them now being sanctuary countries for Jews and other religious groups. This is hardly the time or place for this sentiment, but a paraphrased line from the Clash's song 'London Calling' just struck me: phony Islamophobia has bitten the dust!" declared Naiflass. "Do you think relations with Russia could have been handled differently?" asked Munro. "That's not an easy question to answer. Russia was dead wrong to assassinate former KGB agents in the UK, regardlesss of its motives. It's simply unacceptable to murder people in other countries, not to mention that a waiter could have been killed simply by handling the cup containing polonium-210," began Naiflass. "But overall, both sides were right and wrong at the same time. Urushiol had a golden opportunity to join forces with Russia to fight Islamists after 9/11. Yes, Russian tactics were brutal and often incompetent -- the tragedy at Beslan is the best example of that -- but they had common ground. Unfortunately, Urushiol listened to his neo-con advisors whose calendars never went beyond 1989. They entertained discussions with Ukraine for NATO membership which they had to know would infuriate Russia. They then had membership talks with Macedonia, a country where the two main religions are Macedonian Orthodox and Islam, not great matches for the Christian NATO, excepting the now Islamist Turkey, it goes without saying," added Naiflass. "And it did not help that the Russian president told Urushiol that Ukraine was not a country in Russia's view. Too bad the States could not elect a president who understood that Russia would never be the same as America -- and that's okay. Russians tend to be much more emotional than Americans, what with their great poets, authors, and classical music composers, and any partnership would need to take that into account," added Naiflass. "Not to mention that Russia warned the US against allowing the Boston Marathon bomber family to enter the country," finished Naiflass. "Back to China and the US What actually happened during the confrontation?" asked Davidson. "China's use of its little blue men," began Naiflass. "Excuse me, Prime Minister, little blue men?" interrupted Davidson as she adjusted the headscarf which was mandatory for all females in Britain. "That term was coined by an American professor at the US Naval War College. It referred to China's use of marines wearing the uniforms of fishermen, maritime militia, if you will. China believed that would allow it to claim plausible deniability when so-called fishermen attacked vessels belonging to Vietnam, the Philippines, and other countries in the South China Sea. The term channels Russia's use of its soldiers without insignia in Crimea, little green men," explained Naiflass. "China expanded its actions to build islands in the South China Sea. It had claimed for years that the entire region belonged to it since the beginning of time, which was nonsense of course, but it kept pushing. When it sank a few ships belonging to Vietnam and the Philippines, the US Navy was sent to rectify the situation. A number of details have still not been declassified by the Americans, but I think I understand the situation," continued Naiflass. "The fleet was traveling in two groups. The Phaser battle group set sail from Yokosuka, Japan. They would obviously be the first to arrive. The Nimitz battle group set sail from Everett, Washington. Air assets were flown to Japan in anticipation of action," added Naiflass. "But then something happened that spooked the crews of every ship in both battle groups. I have spoken with many of the commanders and a few wondered if the Rapture had started," offered Naiflass. "Some communications equipment failed, yet others continued to function. Some radar systems started blaring alerts even though there were no missiles or planes in the sky. Some weapons systems went down while other remained on station. Engines and navigation suffered the same plight. Some screens simply went dark. None of the engineers knew how to resolve the situation. And then things got worse." "Five hypersonic missiles appeared on the horizon headed straight for the Phaser. Given their speed -- they traveled at more than five times the speed of sound -- the ship's crew had very little time to react. The ships' laser cannons, the main defensive weapon against such missiles, refused to target the intruders. The Phalanx systems on the ships were operational, but they were not designed for missiles traveling at such a high rate of speed. All five missiles struck the carrier. A large wolfpack of Chinese submarines was also in the vicinity, with two of them able to launch torpedoes which struck the carrier in the confusion. In a matter of minutes, the carrier crew went from battle stations to fire fighting to abandoning ship. It sank so fast that almost five hundred sailors died," stated Naiflass. "The remaining ships' crews took their revenge upon the wolfpack, sinking every last one of them." "In both battle groups, ships were forced to increase the distance between them to avoid collisions. In the Nimitz battle group, another wolfpack of Chinese submarines was spotted close to the carrier. The crews sank all of the Chinese submarines, but not until one of them had launched a torpedo at the Nimitz, striking it near the tail, severely damaging its propulsion systems. It had to be towed back to port," continued Naiflass. "Due to Chinese hardware and firmware?" offered Davidson. "Absolutely," replied Naiflass. "It took weeks to realize that US Navy ships were a Frankenstein creation of American hardware, Chinese hardware, and parts from all over the world. Land-based communication centers were completely taken out of action because they were dependent upon run-of-the-mill PCs which had motherboards, processors, add-on cards, and other components manufactured in China. Intel processors were not tainted because it kept tight control of the manufacturing process from design to test, but the many other processors and cards had been made with backdoors in both hardware and firmware. Ship generations are made over many years. Perhaps the first few in a series were made before China added backdoors to various parts. The US Navy is still not saying much about it." "The submarines were okay for the most part, though there were a few hiccups," continued Naiflass. "I suspect that the reason they were not affected is that space is a premium in a vessel which goes below the surface of the water, so every component is custom-built for that space, using largely American-made hardware." "Could that have happened thirty years ago?" asked Davidson. "Certainly not. Thirty years ago, the US still manufactured circuit boards and chips on US territory where close watch could be kept on the products. The US cut its own throat by outsourcing most of its manufacturing to its worst enemy," answered Naiflass. "I often wondered how politicians and CEOs could forget that just a short time ago the Soviet Union was the evil empire, with almost nothing being bought from it, let alone high-tech parts its military and industry depended upon. During the Second World War, the US had excess manufacturing capacity. Companies such as the Rock-Ola Jukebox Company, International Harvester, and the Underwood Typewriter Company made rifles for the US Army, but today everything is made in China." "The US military went back and redesigned all electronics and offered the manufacturing to US companies exclusively, but that experience had long since disappeared. Factories were built, but making complex electronics takes many months. By the time the US military refitted all of its ships, aircraft, and communication centers with reliable parts, China had consolidated its holdings in Asia," continued Naiflass. "Trollop decided that a third world war was not worth it. A great number of people wanted her head on a silver platter and the House impeached her by an enormous margin, given that she capitulated after China killed almost five hundred US military personnel, but the votes were not there for an impeachment conviction in the Senate. The vote fell one short of the necessary two-thirds, with the Vice President, a member of her party, allowing her to remain in office," added Naiflass. "From then on, no law she proposed was even considered by the House." "That's when the US lost control of the Pacific Ocean, correct?" queried Munro. "West of Guam, to be sure. China had asked the US around 2008 to split the Pacific Ocean between them on a line running through Guam. The US refused. Now China has what it wanted," answered Naiflass. "China gave Trollop a diplomatic message, that China would commence unrestricted submarine warfare against all US Navy ships west of Guam and Trollop capitulated and ordered them all home." "And then something happened for which we do not know the details. The leader of North Korea, Kim Young-un, was assassinated and replaced by someone much more pliable. The DPRK no longer threatens South Korea on a regular basis. The relationship between the two Koreas is almost friendly," added Naiflass. "Since China had achieved its goal of consolidating the region, it no longer needed the buffer zone against the West." "And New Zealand under Prime Minister Covid Protagonist might as well be China's poodle," declared Naiflass. "My country was finally able to assert that the Northwest Passage ran through internal Canadian waters. Previously the US had always refused to recognize Canada's ownership of the internal waterway because it wanted to force the issue of travel anywhere in the world for defense-related issues," added Munro. "Yes, Canada has stood up to China in that respect, refusing to allow oil tankers with single-hulls or other derelicts to travel through the passage, risking a major environmental catastrophe. Perhaps China intends to negotiate it with Canada, given that we have heard nothing about Canadian ships being disabled by defective computer systems," answered Naiflass. Davidson looked at her watch. "You spent quite a bit of time in the US, with that affecting your accent and even the words you use. Was that a problem while you were prime minister?" "Ah, the memories! As you know, my husband is -- was -- American." Naiflass paused for few seconds. "We met at Cambridge. I earned a master's degree from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. I worked in the American corporate sector for a number of years. Later I served as Ambassador to the US in Washington, DC. Some people made jokes about my manner of speech, but I would always end it by reminding them that Churchill's mother was American and the experience was not detrimental to his political career." The prime minister's personal assistant entered the lavatory wearing a black hijab and a face veil. "Madame Prime Minister, it is time," she stated without emotion. "I must admit, I was never very religious," Naiflass said with an almost imperceptible sad sigh. "After I read the story in Revelation of how Satan was sent down to Earth after losing the battle with Archangel Michael, I realized that God must not be very powerful if he cannot handle his former employees. Dante's Inferno described Satan as residing in the ninth circle of Hell, with his lower body frozen in ice. But recently I have become to believe that the legend is true, but not in the way it is presented to us. Muhammad is Satan. He was sent to Earth to inject his malignancy into as many people as he possibly could. He brilliantly wrote the Quran, the most deceptively evil book ever written, which has influenced billions and has been directly responsible for tens if not hundreds of millions of deaths since the 600s. And the 20% of Muslims who believe that suicide bombings are justified when defending Islam must not understand that their god is therefore an invalid, incapable of defending it himself." Naiflass stood and composed herself. "I would say 'See you later,' but that would be unrealistic. Goodbye," she concluded. "Thank you so much for speaking with us today. Goodbye," responded Davidson as she donned a full face veil. "Yes, thank you very much. Goodbye," added Munro as she too donned a full face veil. Both journalists wanted to make their escape from occupied Britain as quickly and safely as possible. Naiflass turned and walked out of the lavatory into the salon. For the first time she saw the long knife being wielded by a husky bearded man in preparation for her ritual beheading. As he turned to face her, he accidentally kicked a wicker basket, causing it to overturn and spill its contents of the heads of senior managers from BBC News and the Guardian, as well as the head of her husband. The necks of the heads were ragged because their former owners were not decapitated in a quick, humane fashion; the heads were sawed off as one would saw a slice from a freshly-baked loaf of bread. She hoped she could be as brave as her heroine, Sophie Scholl of the White Rose. © 2020 Pete Prunskunas
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April 2024
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